All good news!!

I realized I never posted the post scan results: ALL GOOD!!

Everything is maintaining, and not progressing and all is well. Meds, healthy eats, some exercise, some pretty awesome fam... Perfect combination for long term health! 

Kidney stones and health are good as well. 

My blood work numbers were up, so Dr Lee had the scan people look at the results a few times to be sure, but they see nothing unusual. Apparently sometimes surgery can cause numbers to elevate (like having a ureter stent put in) and sometimes blood work just gives false info. She wants me to have blood work again in three months to make sure its back down again. We will scan in 6 months, and keep cruising!

I love summer!!

Normal check-up

All waiting room carpets look the same. I had my normal check up scan done today. I will have some results from Dr Lee by Wednesday morning. I feel really good about how things are going. 

I guess I'm getting used to all of this because I haven't been stressed for this one. There have been a few thoughts creeping in, but mostly I'm glad to have a scan to know exactly where I am. I have been taking good care of myself and eating well and all that healthy business. My immune system is strong and it doesn't have a kidney stone to deal with anymore so I feel like we're in a good place. 

Kidney stone fireworked!!

Turns out when they put a stent in your kidney it looks like a bungee cord. Ew! The dr asked if I wanted to keep it. Ummmm... No!?

The great news is that the doctor was even surprised with how well the sound wave blasting procedure worked. There is a very small piece still hanging out in there, but its minimal. If it does decide to cruise out of there it shouldn't be a problem. 

The stent came out today and was no problem. Those "in office procedures" can be frightening, but in office means normal and easy. It was!

I have a regular CT scan on Monday and I will meet with Dr Lee next Wednesday to check on our normal stuff. I feel great and really optimistic about this scan and meeting. Everything has felt great and I have been taking good care of myself. I'm really good at summer! 

Home

There was a kink in my ureter. That's it! The dr said it blasted beautifully. I am home and in some pain, but not bad. I hear the car in the driveway that is Brent with my drugs. Good to go!! 

Baby you're a firework!

Tomorrow is kidney stone blasting day! I don't feel nervous about it at all. I actually keep forgetting that its scheduled for tomorrow. I watched the fireworks in Tillamook for the fourth and pictured my little stonehenge blasting to pieces. 

I will also wake up with a stent which I hear is super fun. "Just some discomfort" they say. Ha! We'll see how severe the discomfort is! The doc wants to check out why my ureter is not draining properly. He seems pretty confident that its kinked or is scar tissue. There is the possibility that its something else, but is unlikely. 

Cannon is a little nervous about mom being in pain. He has an amazing amount of empathy that kid. I'm sure all will be well. 

I check in early and surgery is scheduled for 730. If you happen to check the clock between 730 and 845, visualize some fireworks!!! 

Relay for Life

    I have avoided cancer fund raising events for a few years now. I did the Susan Komen walk in 2008(?) and I don't think I've been to one since. It wasn't a bad experience at all, actually it was fun to be with my friends. However, throughout the event everywhere you look there are reminders of those that didn't make it. There are in memoriam t-shirts and signs all over the place. Human nature tends to focus on the negative, and for some reason that's what I focused on for a while. I didn't focus on the thousands of survivors that I was surrounded by that were walking with me, but those faces and names on t-shirts took the wind out of me. 

   I have signed up for a Relay for Life even at the end of July in Central Oregon. The same group of friends invited me, which was the first incentive to want to do it.  The second incentive was the ad campaign on tv that says "Help us END the fight for cancer." Or end the walk, or end the something. The "END" is what made me smile.  This is ridiculous that it is something that is so wide spread and we can't figure out a way to stop it. How is it possible that there isn't enough money to research and treat this when it effects so many people of so many ages. There has to be an end in sight, and I am excited by the fact that I hear more people talking about survival rates rather than death rates, and more people seeing it as a chronic condition rather than an end of life timeline.

   There are luminary to decorate and put at the side of the track as I'm sure you well know. My name will be on one. My first reaction was "I like to pretend I don't have cancer." Well, that would be a nice world of denial, but that's not what I meant. There are finally times when I don't think about my diagnosis all the time. In between scan days I feel like a normal human. I go to baseball games with the kids, I get haircuts, I get regular colds, and I do all the normal things that everyone else does. To those that see me everyday I'm not the cancer patient that they have to worry about, I'm just Mo (or Melissa) and we talk about normal things. That's all I really want. To be that normal me. People that I don't see as often I know they love me and I know they care, and I love that. However, when I get a "how are you" with a look of concern in their eyes, I'm forced out of my normal life into the life of that person with cancer. When I walk the track with a luminary with my name on it, my brain puts me out of "normal" life. I know it is entirely me. I am well aware that I make this a bigger deal than it needs to be. I am learning to deal with the process, and learning to look at the luminaries. I will look at those that are gone and feel their family's loss, I'll blink back some tears, and then I will look at all the ones that are walking with me that also have their names on a bag. I will focus on those and smile. 

    Please continue to ask me how I'm doing. I love that. I love reminders that I am supported and loved. Just please know that I may not give you a cancer-y update. It will probably consist of things like summer activities, camping trips, whatever injury Cannon has at that time, whichever book Max is reading, that sort of thing. I am GREAT!!!

   I have an appointment for a kidney stone gig on July 8th. My kidney function is totally normal and healthy, but when they look at scans they can't figure out where my ureter is draining. Their guesses are that it's kinked, or has some scar tissue that is blocking a regular flow. Because of my cancer - y- ness they need to explore the possibility that there is something blocking that will need to be biopsied. They need to make sure. Because my kidney function is normal, they said it would be very unlikely that it will be anything to worry about. They will probably end up putting in a stint, which I hear feels really good (immense sarcasm), and they will blast my existing stonehenge like the 4th of July fireworks. :) 

   After that I have another regular scan and appointment with my oncologist at the end of July. I feel great, all is going well and just plugging along normally. I visualize that appointment as a positive one and receiving reassuring information from the doc. 

   If you would like to donate to the Relay for Life, feel free to e-mail me and I will figure out how that works. :) We are the Holy Walkamolies… I am certain I spelled that wrong, but Donna Mohan came up with that awesome team name. You can't have a bad experience with a name like that!! Knowing her, we'll dance around that track...

Probably too much information...

I cried in a urologists office. Over a kidney stone. I'm totally one of "those patients." Ugh. 

I have since recovered, but I went to the urologist sometime last weekish. Apparently every time I visit a doctor office, especially if it is unfamiliar I mentally freak out. My blood pressure read normal, so I thought I was calm. Nope! 

The PAC told me that I would probably need surgery and or a stent to make the boulder living in my kidney come out. 

Blurry eyes, blinking back tears… 

She of course then continued to tell me that every surgery has risks of additional bleeding and infection. 

Tears spilling down one cheek… 

Then she realized what was happening and back tracked with "well, you have a lot going on right now, maybe we don't need to worry about it, your other kidney is working fine." This is when my brain went "WHAT!? I am not living with one kidney! I want both of them! I will be here for a long time, and I need two!" 

Tears down both cheeks, lip quiver...

I left the office with sunglasses on, and a post CT scan appointment scheduled for June. Drama queen! 

I don't know what it was that triggered this train wreck. She said there's some blockage in my ureter and she doesn't know why, so my brain said "cancer in the ureter!" Then she said possible infection side effect, and my brain said "infection means more cancer!" Man! I have got to chill out!

I called my mom and told her my kidney wasn't draining properly and they didn't know why. Mom's response: "So? I've had an upside down uterus for years, big deal!" Hahaha! Love that woman. Totally made me feel better.

I had an additional CT scan (different focus from previous scans I have had done) last Friday. The results confirmed the giant rock chilling in my left kidney. (It's not in a painful position, I don't feel it at all). They still don't know why things aren't draining properly, but the ureter is pinched or something. More than likely there will be a surgery where they will try to expand it or stretch it out. RAD! I said "rumor has it that's as painful as a kidney stone." Her response: "It can be uncomfortable." Cool. Thanks. 

Next, there will probably be another knock me out gig where they will try to break apart the stone and then my body gets to flush it out. Fun right!? 

I don't meet with the Doctor until June 9th, so none of this will happen anytime soon. In the meantime, I drink lots of water and do all my normal stuff. I'll keep you posted.