Kick me

Acupuncture was awesome. I left feeling totally relaxed. I felt like I was talking really slow and acting like a stoner, but it felt great! I don't know if it was the needles, or the fact that I was laying in a quiet room for like 20 minutes where my entire job was to relax. aaaahhhh. It was cool. I do that again after chemo, right after chemo, and its supposed to help with the nausea. We will see!
Monday was CT scan and bone scan. Between being injected with radioactive material while drinking the "berry flavored" drink, I was all aglow. They give you an option of berry flavored or citrus flavored. This is total crap, there is not flavor, just ew. It tasted like really creamy milk with some seven up in there, and some old lemonade. You have to make it last an hour, so you get to sip it and really get the flavor stuck in your mouth. Mmmmm. While they were trying to inject me with radioactive stuff for the bone scan, they had a hard time getting a vein to work. They tried once, missed, had a heat pack, beat on my arm for a while, had me squeezing a ball, etc then finally got one to "rise." Lucky me. Basically this was very reassuring that I need to do the port thing. I'm not excited about the port thing, but I don't want to have to hunt for veins every time I go in there, so ok, port me. Everyone says the port is the "way to go." I love that terminology, like anything about chemotherapy is the "way to go."
Anyway, the CT scan showed something questionable on my right ovary. "Cystic tissue." I get to do more tests. The doctor says she "doesn't think its cancer at all, but we have to be sure." It's probably a cyst, but there's too much stuff (organs, bones, etc.) in that area to see clearly, so ultrasound next Tuesday to check it out. At this point I don't know if I'm not concerned about this because I have some sort of intuition that tells me not to worry, or if I'm not concerned because its just one more thing in my new "norm." Kind of like if you keep kicking someone with the same force, eventually they'll probably get used to it, you have to kick a lot harder before its going to create a reaction. Kick me again, its cool, I can take it. Brent & I talked about it, Me: "ok, worse case scenario, its cancer, another surgery, and more chemo." Brent: "ok, fine, whatever." We're becoming numb. We just know there's nothing we can really do about it, so "whatever."
The oncologist says my hair will fall out after the first treatment. Again, I want to know exactly when. I don't know why, just makes me curious. Am I going to be taking a shower Saturday and all of a sudden its all gone? I've heard women say they shake their head from side to side and there's hair floating in the air all around them. When it does start falling, I'm thinking I'll shave it. Why wait for the last bit to go? We're going to call it a "shaving party" for Max's benefit. Anything with the word party attached he thinks is great, give him a sucker, maybe he'll want to help shave, he'll be good. Cannon's happy as long as he's eaten, so he should be good too.
I won't be at school tomorrow and Friday, so its weird to say to my students "see you Monday maybe." Having no idea what's about to happen has also become my new norm, but I still don't like it. I want to have some idea. Oh well. Ok, I have to plan for Mr. Sime to be here tomorrow & Friday, so off to work I go!!