I tried to go back to school yesterday, but I didn't make it. I should have taken a nap during my prep time, but I didn't, and I ended up going home after puking in the bathroom. Awesome. I spent last night feeling crappy, and was sick until about 8 or so, then finally started feeling better. My parents went home and came back and dad's at school today. I think I just did too much. I took the anti-nausea, but I had a little bit of a headache, and I felt a little loopy, so I guess it was too much. I feel good today, still a little unsure of how my body's going to handle anything, but good. I had coworkers bail me out yesterday and cover my classes last minute, which was relieving. I also had a student aid that was my personal escort all afternoon. He sat in the office while I was laying down in the health room. He said he wanted to make sure I was ok. Aw, nice kid.
This whole poisoning your system thing just sucks. I still realize things could be much much worse, but I'm not excited about three months of this. Three months can fly by or it can drag. When I think of how much Cannon will learn and grow in the next three months, it seems like it'll by gone before I know it. But, when I think of more needles and poisonings, yeee, doesn't sound like fun. Maybe my body will get used to it. I feel like I have permanent medicine head. When you take cold medicine and you feel a little loopy? That's how I feel most of the time. I think I can function if I take it slower and don't go gung ho, but I'll just feel weird for a while. I'll take weird over throwing up, but its not thrilling.
In the meantime, hair's still here. I over-analyze the amount that falls out. I stare at the hairbrush wondering if that's a normal amount? I know it'll all sort of come out at once in big clumps, but I'm still compelled to wonder if mine will be different and it'll just thin. Its weird to get up in the morning and check out your pillow to see how much hair is there. Definitely a different "normal."
I go to the sonogram today to check out the ovary. I'm not worried about it, I just want it over with. I am supposed to go back to the plastic surgeon tomorrow for more pumping up, but I think I'll delay that a week. I want a few days without doctors.
3 comments:
Oh Mo, I think u r awsome/because I am "old" I can give you this wisdom. Honey, just stop being superwoman(been there)and be a wife and mother until next year. You will be so rewarded by those 2 little ones and that great big one. God Bless Love & Huggies
Moawesome! Glad you are resting. Focusing on how much you are loved may help the "get it over with" clock speed up and the "my kids are growing up too fast" clock slow down.
I bet you have many pukology theories. I would love to discuss them with you. I like gross stuff.
Loving you from over here.
kk
Hey Mo! I have been reading every day and so thankful you have this blog. It makes me feel closer to you, when I am so far away! I have been printing it and giving it to one of my volleyball players who's Mom is going through the same thing. The Mom said you inspire her and are helping her with your incredible attitude. I said that is right, Mo is just the best!!!
I am glad you took it easy yesterday and stayed home. I pray for you and your family every day! Enjoy the days at home with the boys, they grow up too fast!
Love you Mo!
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