Radiation #1 Today

I start radiation today. I had the run through yesterday. They basically took x-rays and such to make sure everything was ready to go. They needed to make sure that calculations are correct and positioning and stuff. I didn't see the x-rays, but we're starting today, so we must be good to go. I lay on a table and there are lasers in the walls that align with my tattoos. They said that, and I thought 'yeah right, lasers in the walls,' but its true. One laser to my left, one to my right, and when I look between my feet, I see the third. So they kind of shimmy me around until I'm in the right spot. Its kind of comical.
They also had me meet with a social worker that works in the the cancer center building. She said they believe in treating "the whole person," so emotionally as well. She is a counselor who specializes in oncology and specifically young adults. We talked for a while, she just wanted to get to know me better and make sure I knew her services were available to me. I really liked her, and she basically hit on everything that bothers me, or I feel guilt over, or am curious about. She talked about the stresses of having little kids in the middle of all of this. She just looked at the ages of Max & Cannon and said "the two and a half year old throws fits because he's two, not because you have cancer." I started laughing because I had hardly spoken and she already knew that was a biggie. It was just nice to know that she had heard the exact same concerns from other people my age in my situation, and its normal. She was very reassuring. She also emphasized taking care of myself, and making sure I continue to do the things that make me happy. She said it may sound selfish, but its true. She used the airplane scenario. When you fly, they always tell you to put the oxygen mask over yourself before your children. I always think that's absurd, I'll totally put it on them first. But, if you do that, how are you going to get your children off the plane when you can't breathe? Take care of yourself first, or you're not being the parent you can be. Makes sense. She also said that if Brent wants to talk, she's available to him too. This is the FIRST time Brent has had people outside of our friends and family offer to help him. There should be more for spouses/partners/friends. We can call, or just tell the nurses while I'm in radiation that we'd like to talk, and she'll make time. Aaahhh...
Saturday I went to a doctor that was recommended to me by a family friend. I didn't really even know what he did, I was just told that he had heard about me, was a very warm person, and thought he could help. To make a long story short, he does acupuncture, as well as naturopathic medicine, basically Chinese medicine he said. I hated it. I don't know what it was about the whole situation that bothered me, but I was a little freaked when I left. He wasn't warm, he wasn't rude, but he wasn't warm. He didn't know who I was, he didn't really want to hear who I was, and I felt like he basically said "do this or your cancer will come back." No, it wasn't in those words, but that's just how I felt. I don't very often get freaked out, but I just had to get out of there all of a sudden. You could basically get me to do anything if you're going to guarantee me that cancer won't come back, so maybe I just felt taken advantage of, I don't know. Anyway, I won't be back to see him anytime soon. A family friend of ours says that your spirit will tell you what you need to do, and I guess my spirit was definitely against that guy. :)
So, radiation begins today, everyday at about 4pm, for seven weeks. I feel kind of excited to get going. Maybe the excitement is more because President Obama was sworn in, but I'm ready to go.
Oh, I need to tell you that Brent put together a book for me with pictures and the blog, and the comments. Its amazing. I cried, my dad started to read it, he cried, mom read a few, cried, Debbie looked at the first page and cried. :) Its very cool, and possibly the best thing anyone has done for me.