Ear Wax

I get dizzy from time to time. Brief, and usually when I'm tired, but some dizziness I started noticing about the middle of January. I don't pay attention to what I'm doing at the time, how often it happens, etc. I just notice that things are a little screwy, and then a few seconds later, everything is good again. The first couple I figured was a chemo thing and my body just dealing with it all. I finally remembered to ask the radiation doc about them, she says ask the chemo doc. I ask chemo doc, she says "that shouldn't be from the chemo anymore, we want you to come in so we can check it out." I panic. I immediately decide I have brain cancer. It has spread to my brain, I'm doing all this crap over again, blah blah blah. Objectively, I know this process of thinking is ridiculous, but I'm living inside my head, not a normal rational head. I called Brent to get myself calmed down, and was fine. Its just a realization that every time I go to the doctor, there's going to be this underlying fear that I have cancer. Good stuff! Apparently my Aunt Linda a long time ago was sure she had leg cancer, but it turns out that since she was pregnant with Josh at the time that he was sitting on her nerve and creating the "cancerous" pain. Apparently this cancer fear that I have also has some genetic background.

I went to the doctor today and she said its nothing to worry about. She listened to the heart, breathing, etc., she checked out my eyes and ears and such, and I'm good. She said its probably my body just dealing with everything, and if it keeps happening to pay closer attention to what's going on when it happens. I haven't had it in like a week or so. While looking in my ears however, she noticed some serious ear wax. Huge amounts of goo came out of my ear today. Huge. I could bottle it and sell it at Halloween. She had this really long Q tip, and dug it out, and ew. Huge. She pulls out one chunk of goo and its about the size of a large ant. I'm disgusted and disturbed, and a little impressed, so she throws that away, and looks in my ear again only to find that there is another chunk of goo equal in size to the first. You would think that I was deaf in that ear, I don't know how I heard anything with that in there. Impressive. Apparently this happens from time to time with chemo patients. Ear wax is also a side effect of chemo. Weird.

Aunt Linda has been here since Tuesday night, and is heading home tomorrow. We have been incredibly spoiled. She has the little dudes bathed and ready to eat when I get home, my laundry was folded today, and the house smells good because dinner is ready. She's the best housewife ever. A little crazy, but in a fun way. :) She was on a mission to potty train Max, so she brought Mr. Poopy. This is a doll that is about three feet long and made of brown fleece. She made him. He is full of toys so when you go to the bathroom, you get a toy. The toy only comes after the song and the dance. See, crazy, but a fun crazy. :) So far Max isn't buying it. Linda has a toy, I have 2 toys, and Brent has a toy. Max doesn't care, he points them out and doesn't even try to play with them. No jealousy, nothing. Yesterday I asked him if he would like to use the potty so he could have a toy and he said "no Mommy, I have enough toys." Seriously!? Don't give me crap about my diaper wearing son when he's 10 years old or older, we have officially tried it all...

I have been feeling really good. Its easy to make it through the day when I have this much help around. Between my mom and Linda, when Brent and I have to do all the work around here again, its going to be really exhausting. :) I have a little bit of burn, but not bad. Some clothes are becoming more comfortable than others, and I go to bed pretty early, but overall its pretty easy. Have a good weekend! Oh, and I tried to take a picture of my eyebrow, but I couldn't get it to work. I was cracking up trying to get the right angle and I found myself smiling for a picture of my eyebrow, but the camera won't focus on my eyebrow that close. At some angles the flash just reflects off my head. ha ha I do have eyebrow stubble though, so there's progress...