Mom guilt

I'm convinced that mom guilt is the strongest force in the universe. When Max was still a baby I remember telling my mom that I felt guilty over something. (I don't even remember what it is now), and she just said "yeah, that guilt doesn't go away... ever." So true! I feel guilt that I work all day and don't see Max and Cannon. At some point during the summer I will feel guilt that the only person they get to see for most of the day is me, and they're not getting enough social interaction. On the outside looking in, I know its absurd and ridiculous, but I live inside my head, not outside.
When I talked to the social worker after radiation one day she was just talking introductory type stuff. She said "your kids are never going to forget who mom is." I immediately started crying. I hate crying in front of people, but I couldn't control it, and I was totally unprepared for that reaction. Someday when Max and Cannon are teenagers, don't ever tell them I have this incredible guilt going, they'll be able to get away with anything. "Mom, remember how you didn't nurture me enough when I was a baby!? Buy me a car!" Done, convertible ok?
We painted this weekend. We are on yellow/gold color #2,and its looking good. I didn't spend every waking minute with my children when I hardly get to see them during the week. I feel guilt over painting a bedroom. Wow, mom guilt, serious stuff.