Waiting for doctors

I'm still waiting for results, waiting to make an appointment to discuss a plan, waiting for a port to be put in, and waiting for chemo to get going. There is of course a part of me that wishes the doctor would call and tell me she made a mistake, it's not cancer after all. Wouldn't that be cool!? :)

I'm trying to find a way to not constantly think about it, but I definitely have not perfected that yet. The X-ray Friday showed no change, which was good. The air was still there, but hadn't increased meaning my lung isn't leaking. Whee! 

I visited with a friend on Saturday that felt a bit more like a counseling session, in a good way. I feel a lot of guilt over making others unhappy with all of this. I know it sounds rather absurd, but that's how I operate. I haven't quite perfected that either... Life is always a work in progress! 

I talk to my Grandma Madge a lot, she passed away in 2006, but I always feel like she's taking care of me. When I went in for the biopsy my main nurse was Christina (my mom's name is Christine in case you don't know her awesome self). I immediately felt like Grandma was there. The first X-ray I had was given by a different Christina. As I was laying and waiting for X-ray #2, a woman walked by and I heard the staff say "Hi teena!" (Teena is what my mom's family calls her), so I was feeling my family all around me. Just before we left a woman was being helped to her wheelchair and her nurse said "ok, see you later Madge!" (Again, Grandma's name). My mouth fell open & Brent had a big smile on his face. My grandma is definitely taking care of me. 

If I ever have any more medical information, I'll keep you posted.