Uh-oh, she's exploding!

I have a temper.
A big one.
I'm not proud of it, it's embarrassing.

When Brent and I first started dating, my friends told him I had the potential for exploding anger. He didn't believe them, so he decided to pick a fight with me to really see what he was in for. The argument wasn't that big of a deal until he told me why he started it. As the story goes, that's when I really showed off the temper.

I honestly try to keep it under control, and I'm honestly embarrassed when I calm down and become normal again, and I try to make my apologies. Brent doesn't argue with me anymore, he just walks away and waits for the normal to come back. He's so mature, right!? How do people do that!? Man I wish I had that!

I think I've been a little on edge lately. We are tearing down the fireplace structure, and it's kind of a mess. Not a big deal, but a little out of whack. I have a scan coming up on March 9th. I haven't really thought much about this business, but the thoughts are creeping back in. I had a student ask me about my tumor today. I had another student tell me I was causing him to learn less and my methods were off, and I had a parent tell me that I was teaching "the math backwards, you're doing it all wrong."

Each of these things individually not a big deal. All of them cursing around in my brain is like a ticking time bomb! I did have a rather heated discussion with the student who argued with me, I'll have to find him tomorrow and "rephrase my plan."  I did, however, keep my mouth shut with the parent, smiled and said thank you, and left. Pretty good right!?

My face still turned purple from anger, but I held it in.

Every time I read about stress related illness I think about these moments. Ugh… I'm trying I swear!

Being an adult is hard.