Wednesday is the big day.

Tomorrow I meet with Dr Lee to see if all of this is actually working. I had a blood draw yesterday, they'll share the numbers with me at the appointment tomorrow. 

I have a daily affirmation thing that I read every day. It's a little like Stuart Smalley from Saturday Night Live, but it makes me feel better and is therefore worthwhile. I feel like so much of this is getting my head into the right frame of mind. The affirmations give me one thing to focus on everyday and it seems calming. 

Yesterday I had to schedule the blood draw and for some reason that sent me into anxiety mode. I cried a bit in front of my class for the first time in 12 years. I felt much better after it was all done, and now feel ready for my appointment tomorrow. I guess I had to get it out.

I visualize frequently that the meds are working, that eating better is working, that exercising is working... I visualize and focus on total health. I am ready tomorrow to confirm that it's working. That doesn't guarantee another breakdown won't happen, but I can handle those.

I look around my messy house, and my scattered desk, and I think about my amazing family and friends and I think... Life is sooo good right now, I don't want anything to change. I realize life is all change and my kids will grow up, and my family and friends lives will change... I will adapt as I need to, but wow... I have it pretty good right now.

For those of you that pray, that send positive energy or white light or whatever works for you... Tomorrow we'll find out it's working!!